Sixth month in Malawi and Conclusion

Arrival: August 9^th 2010

6 month period at project: August 11^th 2010 – February 11^th 2011

Departure: February 14^th 2011

It is safe to say that as the days, weeks, months and years pass, time seems to fly by quicker and quicker. The last six months has been no exception, and here I am recalling it, trying to figure out where the time went.

The last month has mainly consisted of handing over work I was doing, spending time with and saying final goodbyes to HIV support groups, my English class, students and teachers in the Teacher Training College, around the orphanage, local friends I made and also to the other DI’s that are leaving at the same time as me or who I will be leaving behind.

We had a final night out in Blantyre together with dinner and dancing. I also donated blood, got stuck at home for a week with a foot infection, traded some of my belongings at Blantyre Art Market for arts and crafts, gave some of my clothes away to local friends, did some gift shopping and of course the ever-so-fun acts of packing up of my room and packing my bags. And before flying back to Europe from Lilongwe, Laura, Assum and I will have one final night out in Lilongwe to farewell Malawi.

The three of us are flying back to Europe together, and both Assum and Laura will be going back to Denmark for a short while, before heading back to their cities in Spain. We fly through Addis Ababa in Ethiopia, then Frankfurt, which is where I will be getting off and taking a flight to London.

It’s unbelievable that my DI period has come to an end. I won’t lie - there have been many times where I questioned what I was doing here, why I was with this organization (Development Aid from People to People - DAPP) and some of the issues I could see that were staring us all in the face. But something that I have to mention as an advantage of going through DAPP was that it allowed us the ability and possibility to go into the villages and to know the local people. A foreigner by themselves or with friends can’t just come to a country in Africa and do this. Sure you could probably find a local orphanage or school to offer your time to, but probably not in the same way as what we have been able to do here.

Due to the name that has been developed and the set up of the projects, we have been able to get used to the local people and they have been able to get used to us, walking through their communities, exchanging greetings, handshakes, looks, smiles and hugs. Quite simply we were able to be immersed into the culture without being a tourist or traveller, but as a temporary resident, and a friend. Sure there are many people that don’t see us as any more than just “Azungu” – white people, but that happens and is part of the fact that to these people there is not much of a world outside their own country, so in a way, it has been our job to bring the outside world to them.

This Development Instructor program is not something I would recommend for people to do if they want to change the world or do something huge. You can do many little things here to help people, have some ‘time out’ to decide what you want to do with your life, make new friends, enjoy new and different things, and experience the self-development that takes place over the year in Denmark and Africa. As one DI put it, rather than Development Instructor, DI stands for “Development of the Individual.” And in many ways I believe that is true.

Despite the many frustrations, issues and difficulties of the past year in the program, for me it has still been an overall positive experience that one can only learn from, especially upon reflection. I have been able to do many things that would not be possible to do in my normal life, especially without experience or qualifications in certain areas. I have developed things about myself that I am grateful for, such as confidence in public speaking and in myself. I have been exposed to many different ideas, views, cultures, languages, people, places, experiences, perceptions and much more. In general, the good has outweighed the bad, and when I reflect upon all of this, I really don’t want to focus much on the negative, just the positive. Besides, everything that has happened has lead up to ‘now,’ and ‘now’ is not so bad.

In terms of what I feel I have achieved, I don’t think I have changed the world or saved anyone’s life, but there have been many little things. I settled into life, the culture and the Malawian way in an environment quite unlike anywhere I’ve lived before. I gave my time and knowledge to the local people where possible, and I taught some HIV positive people about nutrition, how to make soya milk and about the basics of HIV/AIDS. I didn’t get malaria or any other illness. I taught some people English, how to use a computer, about different places, people and cultures around the world. I shared some of myself with others, I walked a lot, I had fun with the cute kiddies, I played sports with kids in the orphanage I lived in, I explored parts of Malawi outside my project and up around the Lake, and I made many cultural exchanges with local people and other DI’s alike.

I also made new friends - Malawian (and some from other African countries), European (and UK), Asian, North American, South American, New Zealand and even another Australian. If you don’t include Antarctica as there is no human habitation there, my last year has consisted of meeting and befriending people from every continent! Most of my time over the past year has been spent with non-native English speakers, and being with people from different countries and cultures has allowed me to learn so much about many things. Knowledge, ideas, culture, languages, stories, points of view and laughs, among many other things have been exchanged and it has been wonderful. I feel like it has helped me to understand people a lot more and be more aware of other cultures, ways of being and habits. Rather than an achievement though I would say it has been more like a privilege. And for sure I have learnt a hell of a lot! About life, myself, new skills, the world, different cultures, etc.

I learnt how to make soy milk, how to cook nsima (Malawi’s staple food), how to speak useful parts of Chichewa to get me by walking through villages.

I learnt that I am not made for mountain climbing and don’t really have much of an interest in climbing mountains (except maybe metaphorical ones).

I learnt just how much I don’t like small talk – sometimes it’s necessary but this is mostly what conversations with many local people have consisted of and it becomes quite tired and boring after a while. Hence, I learnt that I need some form of mental stimulation and interesting conversation a lot of the time!

I learnt the art of cutting up a mango using a Swiss army knife while sitting in the car without making a big mess.

I learnt to live basically.

*I have also re-learnt many things:

I re-learnt the importance of family, friendship and to appreciate “real friends.”

I re-learnt how much of an interest I have in nutrition and health.

I re-learnt to have even more patience and tolerance than I already have, due to “African time” and difference in cultural ways and practices.

I re-learnt to appreciate the small and simple things.

I re-learnt to like peanut butter, a lot!

I re-learnt how to speak some basic Mandarin, due to time spent at a Chinese Buddhist orphanage.

I re-learnt persistence and not to take ‘no’ for an answer.

I re-learnt to have confidence in myself and my own abilities.

I re-learnt to speak my mind, but also to ‘bite my tongue’ when it’s necessary.

The learning never stops!

*There were some realisations along the way too:

I realised how important, motivating and enjoyable it is to work together with others that are ‘on the same page’ as you, rather than just working on your own. If you are working on your own sometimes it becomes a question of, ‘what am I doing here?’ or ‘why am I doing this?’ It can be hard to get motivated, especially in an environment such as I have just experienced (even if you are usually a good self-motivator, which normally I am). It’s nice to share experiences with someone else/other people.

I realised I am capable of more than I give myself credit for.

I realised that money is not the answer or the way forward for African countries. Time, knowledge and cultural exchange are a lot more effective and important than this.

And I practiced public speaking, conducting meetings and discussions, sharing information and ideas.

I read a list of books over the past 6 months that I mostly thoroughly enjoyed and learnt a lot from. Most of them were in relation to Africa or development in some way. They were:

“A Long Way Gone” - Ishmael Beah (a personal memoir of a former child soldier from Sierre Leone)

“Selected Writings and Speeches of Nelson Mandela”

“Dead Aid… Why Aid is Not Working and How There is a Better Way for Africa” - Dambisa Moyo

“The Trouble with Africa… Why Foreign Aid Isn’t Working” - Robert Calderisi

“Natural Medicine in the Tropics” – Dr Hans Martin Hirt and Bindanda M’Pia

“Atlas of Global Development” - Collins

“Dark Star Safari” – Paul Theroux (portrays his overland journey from Cairo to Cape Town, having set foot back on the African continent after living in Malawi and Uganda, 40 years earlier)

“Einstein… A Life in Science” – Biography by Michael White and John Gribbin

“The State of Africa” – Martin Meredith (a history of fifty years of independence)

“Banker to the Poor” – Muhammad Yunus (the founder of the Grameen Bank writes about his life and lead up to success in micro-finance)

“The Pursuit of Happyness” – Chris Gardner, with Quincy Troupe

My perceptions of Africa have changed even more since the last time I was here two years ago. I’m not trying to generalise because I am well aware that African countries are not all the same and you can’t just say “Africa” all the time. Plus I have only ‘lived in’ one, (two if you count Cape Town for 3 months, and even then Cape Town is completely different and is a much more developed city in many parts), and travelled in five of its countries. But even though each country and culture has subtle differences which make it unique, in some ways there are also similarities.

Having lived (in some ways) as the Malawians do, working with them, experiencing their culture, reading various books and information, seeing what I have seen and doing what I have done, I have come to see and think different things about the situation here. I am also well aware that six months is not enough time to make judgments or conclusions, but I do believe that it can give you a good picture of things because you are living the day-to-day life with the people and amongst the culture, and not just passing through on your travels and having 'tourist' experiences or seeing the sights and meeting the people for a brief time.

There is a big difference between living somewhere and just travelling through it. At first glance you might think you know or can see what things are like, but actually you need second, third and maybe fourth glances of some things to understand, appreciate and to perhaps say you actually ‘know’ something small. It’s all life experience but different perceptions are gathered from these differences in travel and living.

It also makes a difference when you have to work with these people because you see a side to them that can make you understand why some things are the way they are. The work ethic is completely different and in many cases not even there. Many hours, days, weeks, months (and once you accumulate all this) years are wasted due to “African time,” no sense of urgency, timekeeping or deadlines. Malawi and many other African countries are about a generation behind the developed world which makes it obvious why many of these countries are in the state that they are. It's very hard to know with development work and aid because it's been going on for years and years and people still don't seem to have figured it out.

Living here I can easily say I was the most ‘free’ that I had ever been in my life. There was no responsibility of having to pay rent, bills, worrying about a car, no one on your back telling you what to do or having to report to anyone. Of course ideally we should have to report to someone and there should be a system in place to monitor what was happening or where we were, but there was/is not and follow-up was very poor/non-existent. Quite simply if we wanted to go to work we could, but if we didn’t feel like it or had plans to go somewhere else then we could do that as well. We could basically do whatever we wanted to do and go wherever we wanted to go, whenever we wanted to. This comes back to how motivated we were to go out and work or if we just came to Africa for a holiday.

Looking back and reading my blog of the experiences I had two years ago, there are many things I have come across that I wrote where I have a different opinion or perception now, such as the idea of sponsoring a child through a charity or organization. I used to sponsor a child in South Africa for 2 years and when I was there I even organised a visit and had the chance to meet her and her family. I had good intentions and believed that I was doing the right thing. When I joined the DI program I stopped the sponsorship because volunteering for a year also meant that I would not be paid for an extended period of time. And even when I knew I wasn’t going to be able to afford to continue to sponsor her, I had reservations and felt like I still really wanted to. But now, since living in Malawi, and being exposed to all the things I mentioned previously, I know I made the right decision and wouldn’t do it again. I don’t regret having been a sponsor, but instead of sending or giving money, it’s more efficient, effective and important to help the people become self sufficient and show them how to generate and develop things for themselves. But sometimes it’s hard to know what the right thing to do is.

In relation to this, I fundraised some money from family and friends during the Denmark period, but I haven’t spent a cent of it because again, I have realised money is not the answer. So I will be returning it all back to everyone that was kind enough to make a donation through my website. Too much money in foreign aid has been sent to Africa over the last 40-50 years, and there is not a lot to show for it, plus what also comes of it is the continued dependence on outside help, and that is not something I want to be a part of. Sure I could put money into something small to help a local person get started in a business, start up a vegetable garden or afford further education, but what is the difference between this and the United States transferring money to African governments, not knowing if the money you give them is going to be put to good use? It almost seems to be quite similar, but just on a smaller scale. The smaller scale may reach the local person on the ground, where in comparison a government transfer may not because there is a lot of corruption around, but it’s difficult to find people that you know will continue to fight hard, work hard and that have the determination and right intentions for these kinds of things to prolong after you have left, resulting in sustainable development in some way. It is really hard to find this and from my experience, few and far between.

I was also asking questions like: Why is there such an unequal distribution of wealth in the world? The same world has overindulgence, excess and waste on one side, and underdevelopment, malnutrition and extreme poverty on the other. Having been in Africa the second time around, I can’t say that I know, but I now have more of an idea as to why some things are the way they are in some African countries. Cultural differences, attitudes, habits, practices and years of dependence, among others, are some of the things I have witnessed. Last time I just saw many things on the surface – the shanty towns, the mud huts, the swollen bellies, the bare feet; the unclean water, the lack of everything. I had more sympathy than I do now. But I have realised these people don’t need sympathy. I don’t know if I can even say what they need, because who am I to know what is best for people other than myself?

Before any real change and significant sustainable development can take place, it is the local people of each struggling African country that have to help themselves. It is not up to foreigners to do it for them or throw some money at the problem because they will never become self sufficient and get out of this never ending cycle of dependence and poverty. We can give them time and knowledge, but at the end of the day it’s up to them to make a difference. Though I do realise it is easier said than done because part of what makes things difficult to see a positive way forward is that many of the barriers that get in the way are due to culture. For example, the way many people think. People’s mindsets and the way they have grown up to think and act is in some way a part of their culture. But there is a problem here. What we’re not here to do is change their culture, because we can never do that and it is not something we want to do. Culture is what makes each country’s people unique.  So how do we do this? I don’t have an answer and I doubt even living in an African country for many years on end would produce a solution.

Again, just like the last time I was in Africa 2 years ago, I appreciate, possibly even more so now, how fortunate and lucky I am to have the life I do, to have been born where I was and to have the opportunities and choices of so many things. We have the luxury of choice, which is such a valuable thing, and something that I think is overlooked and forgotten about or not realised in the developed ‘first’ world. We can choose where we live, how we live, who we live with, what we eat, when we eat, what we wear, who our friends are, who we marry, etc. We have access to education, health care, clean running water, food, housing, electricity and so much more. We have the opportunity to work and earn a regular income, to support ourselves and our families, to leave our countries and visit or live in others, to experience many weird and wonderful things life and the world have to offer. These things, however basic and normal they may sound and seem to us, are an absolute luxury and something I think a lot of us take for granted.

This life experience that I have just concluded has reminded me to not take anything for granted and appreciate the fact that I have a plethora of fortunes in my life and even to have had this whole Denmark-Malawi experience in itself was also something I was able to ‘choose’ to do. It has all been a very humbling and eye-opening experience and one that I am grateful for.

I can easily predict that it is going to be a challenge to step back into the ‘real’ or ‘conventional’ world, with many inevitable adjustments. I am used to living the basic life with not much money or variety in food, not always running water, sometimes no electricity, limited internet access, filling the toilet with water when there is no running water, mostly bucket showering, no hot water so if it’s cold then boiling water to take a shower, hand washing clothes, sharing rooms, living far away from shops, restaurants, transport, etc, etc. It’s going to be quite strange and obviously quite nice to have access to a more comfortable way of living that I had before all this, but I know that this time it will feel really amazing to be able to do things such as have a ‘normal’ hot shower, use a washing machine, fast running internet, have running water and electricity all the time, walk shorter distances to buy food or to get transport. It will also be very different where over here I would meet up with friends (mostly other DI’s) to go and see an orphanage, community group, school, etc, whereas in the ‘real’ world I will go back to meeting up with friends to go to the pub, the movies, the park, etc. We could still do those other things over here, but wasn't as common or usual.

But two things I found hard to accept last time I came back from Africa, which are also things I have never really been fond of, are the ‘consumerist’ and ‘image’ ways of the Western world. I know I am going to find it difficult again to be immersed back into this way of life of shopping, buying, new technology, fashion and having new clothes and accessories all the time, worrying about what to wear and what you look like, what other people think of you, television, complaining about the weather, other people, a bad day or that you hate your job, throwing away food, or having the latest iPhone, iPad or iFucking piece of equipment! So much is bought, consumed and wasted and there is an excess of everything. Living amongst all this after just coming from living in Malawi where majority of people are struggling to make ends meet, support themselves and their families and can’t even afford to buy food, medicine or clothing will take time to adjust to. I had a problem with these kinds of things before this whole experience so it will be tenfold now.

Despite these things, after being in Africa for 6 months I am actually looking forward to getting back to some ‘normality’ and familiarity, even though I do like randomness and the unknown and unexpected. I am going back to London for some months, which I don’t really think is the best place to go straight after living in Africa, but let’s see. It’s actually a change of plans to what I previously wanted to do. Originally the plan was to go back to South Africa to visit family, friends and do some things and see some places I missed out on last time, but unfortunately I was unable to change my flight and I also realised that I probably wouldn’t be able to afford it. So now the plan is to try and find a job in London, at least until the Summer.

Apart from this DI program, my life is never planned too far in advance. I think I like it that way because going by previous life experience, even when I have plans or some ideas in my head, for one reason or another, they change and I find that I want to do something else or go somewhere else. Of course Mum would love to have me back now, and I miss family, friends, home and Australia in general, but at the moment the idea is to earn some money first and get the love of being away ‘out of my system.’

My time away from home this time around has really given me some inspiration as to the direction I would like to take with my life, career-wise. Before living in Malawi, and for a few years beforehand, I thought that my real interest was social science in some form, which is partly why I decided to do this development/social work program; to get some related work experience in working with people and trying to figure out which area to specialise in. However, after Denmark and Malawi I have realised that I do not want this as a career, but rather something that I do as an extra throughout my life where possible. So what I mean is, working with people, for example, in a hospital, school, community centre or wherever is still something I would like to do for as long as I can, but only as a volunteer for one or two days a week or fortnight or whatever, in addition to everything else. I do still have that want/need/instinct (call it whatever you like) to help people where I can, even in my everyday life, but in terms of an actual career, it is not where my primary focus is. It’s not that I’ve had bad experiences or don’t care as much as I did before, because I do care, but I have realised there is something else that I want to focus on.

After all the experiences of living in Malawi, it has reminded me what an interest I have in nutrition and health. When I was in school and involved in participating in a lot of sport, I always thought I wanted to be a Nutritionist. But then somewhere along the way I stopped doing so much sport due to lack of time once I started working full time, and that interest got lost and slightly forgotten about. Although, about 2 ½ years ago I was working in the Public Health department of a university in London for a couple of months and it did confirm my interest in a possible future in health/healthcare, etc, however I didn’t really look into it much and I was also still at a stage in my life where I just wasn’t sure whether I wanted to do this or do that.

But after seeing how poor the nutrition is over here and remembering what it was like sometimes in Denmark too, teaching people about it, learning about natural medicines, seeing/knowing what some of the other DI’s I’ve been with prefer to eat and what they add to their meals, and even after some of the things I’ve been eating over here, it has become a concern and interest at the forefront of my mind, and this is what I really have an interest in pursuing.

Seeing the lack of nutrition of the children here was and is especially devastating. Poor nutrition in children affects their whole lives. Mental, social and physical capacities are impeded, resulting in poor concentration in school, low energy levels and weak immune systems which allows greater possibilities to be susceptible to diseases and infections. Of course the same can be said for adults, but it is even more concerning with the children because good nutrition needs to start from a young age or else growth and development can be stunted, and can prevent them from becoming healthy and well functioning adults.

I have given all of this a lot of thought over the past 6 months and I figure, in years and years to come, besides family and friends, what else is it that will be of utmost importance in my life? And what I can say without hesitation is my health. I have always been conscious of healthy eating, not adding much salt or sugar to my food and being physically active by doing regular exercise and/or sport. Of course we all have our days of eating things that may not be so good for us, being lazy or going overboard with portion sizes, but I try to keep a balance, always making sure I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables and other things that my body needs to function well, plus regular swimming and playing basketball as my main forms of physical activity.

So in addition to other things I can do to stay healthy, I feel like the best way I can contribute to this over a prolonged period of time is to study more about it. I have already found two courses I would like to do, one being an introduction course by correspondence to be completed in 4 months, and after that a 2 or 3 year Nutritional Medicine course. This is my plan once I get back home later in the year, however if it’s possible I may even start the correspondence course while I am in London.

Here’s to family, good friends, good health, good food, love, peace and happiness.